Is it abuse to beat with an item, never a fist?

yes my wife has been a big grumps ever since i lost my job last week, was fired from kaymart for a customer deciding to bring a gun into the store and threaten to rob the drawer, since i gave him the money my boss says he was an accomplice because we are both the same race and he is my step brother. anyways my boss almost called on a bounty hunter to kill me so i have been monitored by the police in case jerry comes to my house with a bag of 80 dollars for us to split up so we can make a run to mexico and all that/ anyways my wife already hit me with a cardboard box until i vomited and then she yelled at me for not having dinner ready and all i know how to make is hotpocket but not in an oven cause i have never used an over, and the microwave dont work ever since i microwaved some batteries that my wife was keeping in the freezor and i thought they should warm up before going into my gameboy to play animal crossing. so heating up dinner was not an option and she was so mad she said "gumbo you sittin around playing zelda for two days straite and that games made for twelve year olds!!!!! and i said no this is animal crossing and she took my gameboy and hit my head so hard that i had a brain leak and couldnt hear the televisoin for a few days, it all sounded like whispers and in portugues or some **** cause i couldnt hear nothing and the gameboy dont work no more, and my neybor also used this lull in my defense to escalate his attack on my house by lighting a fire at the base of my house to try and burn me down, and so i was forvced to go offensive and slash his tires and also fill a bucket up with apple juice and hide in the treetops all night, then when his wife was leaving for work in her nice clothes, dump it on her to make her all sticky and late at work, and also my neybor responded by raiding my house and stealing all my lord of the rings figurines, and torturing them to make a video which he sent anonimously in the mail and it made me howl and cry to see frodo with an m80 tied to his head and then my neybor put him in a blender and fed him to his little chihuaha